The notion of a death panel taking hold in the general population makes me sick, sick to my stomach, and pained.
Right now my family is facing the imminent death of a beloved brother, son, brother-in-law, friend and uncle.
He is not old. 56 years old last June.
But death is at his throat. And his wishes are unknown and we are choking on our words as we alternate between wanting him to make a decision or taking the lead and making the decision for him.
The medical team at ICU said on Tuesday he was hallucinating, and probably unable to make a coherent decision. His elder sister is not his legal health care proxy, but by default is in charge.
If we saw into the future, and how devastating it is for family members not to know, we might prepare for it.
If end of life issues were normalised, and not used to fire up the wrong bases, perhaps we'd know what he would have wished.
We don't and won't.